


Transgender Dysphoria Blues

by vivaforever597



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Trans Character, Trans Eli, Trans Female Character, Trans Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivaforever597/pseuds/vivaforever597
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eli and Rin aren't the closest in µ's, but they have one particular thing in common. (Mentions of Rinpana and Nozoeli; implied mentions of sex.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transgender Dysphoria Blues

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have always thought of Rin as trans, thanks in part to the Love Wing Bell episode, and I recently read a fic on here that had trans Eli, so I just had to put the two of them together for a chat...
> 
> I imagine Rin as having been on testosterone blockers, but having just started on estrogen when this fic takes place (hence her small breasts, high voice, and shortness), whereas I see Eli as having gone through testosterone poisoning but having been on estrogen and spiro for a while (hence her big breasts - lucky girl - along with her height and her voice, which I can easily imagine as a trans girl trying to moderate her voice with a bigger larynx).
> 
> Named for the amazing Against Me! album obvs.

Sometimes, the girls of µ's were surprised to find how anonymous they remained in street clothes, even after winning the Love Live! No one looked twice at the two girls sitting outside a café, eating their ice cream in the summer sunshine.

Rin gazed admiringly at Eli's chest. "They're so nice, Eli-chan," she whined. "And mine are so..." She looked down at her own chest sadly. "Flat."

Eli sighed softly and lowered her ice cream bowl to look at the girl across the table, seemingly too sad to lick the drops falling from her cone. "They'll grow, Rin," she said reassuringly. "Just give it time."

"But not like yours, Eli-chan. Almost nobody gets ones like yours, nya." Rin seemed to finally notice the ice cream melting onto her fingers, and began to lick at it wanly, with little of the ferocity with which she'd normally attack a dessert.

"That is true," Eli admitted. "But you don't know that you won't, huh? And you have the advantage of time anyway. You got your puberty blockers."

That cheered Rin a little. "At least I have my voice, nya!" she grinned. Then her smile dropped as she realized the impact of her comment. "But your voice is girly too, Eli-chan," she added hastily.

Eli stared down into her bowl and absently poked the ice cream with her spoon. "To everyone else," she said quietly. "But when I hear it in my own head, it's not so girly."

"Awwww." Rin patted Eli's hand as if pawing at a toy: her inner cat coming out. "Well, it must be girly for Nozomi-chan to like it! She wouldn't otherwise!"

Eli took a spoonful of ice cream to give herself time to form her words. "I think Nozomi would like my voice however it sounded," she said.

Rin reeled back as if she'd gotten an electric shock. "Nooo! Nozomi loves everything girly, nya!" she protested. "Since she likes you so much, you must be really girly!"

Eli chuckled. "Harasho. I can't argue with that reasoning."

"But anyway," Rin continued, "you got your..." She trailed off and glanced down at her lap meaningfully.

"Rin," Eli said, a bit sharply, "you don't need that to be a girl. You'll get yours in time, if you really want it."

"It must be nice, nya," Rin said. "It must look nicer."

Eli blushed. She hadn't been expecting things to get quite this personal. "I don't really want to talk about that here," she said quietly.

"Nozomi must like it," Rin pressed on, oblivious. She giggled. "I know Kayo-chin's is really cute!"

"Rin!" Eli cried. "You shouldn't say things like that in public."

"No one would know what I was talking about! I just said something was cute, nya," Rin protested.

Eli took a spoonful of ice cream in an effort to regain her composure. "Well, you can never be too careful," she muttered as she held the spoon above the bowl, shaking slightly. "People might not seem to recognize us, but if someone knew who we were and heard what we were saying..." She trailed off meaningfully and finally lifted the spoon to her mouth.

Rin sobered. "Then they might not like us anymore, nya," she finished. "I'm scared about that."

"Oh, Rin." Eli softened. She returned the spoon to its bowl to take Rin's hand in hers. "There might not be a lot of us making music, but there are enough. We would hardly be ruined. And even if we were, we still have one another."

Rin bit off a corner of her cone and barely seemed to chew it before swallowing. Sometimes her catlike habits were a little frightening, Eli thought. "I know," she said brightly, as if she hadn't been so anxious a moment before. "I love everybody in µ's! We're friends _forever_ , nya!"

Eli smiled affectionately. "Harasho, Rin."


End file.
